Adoption: A Lifelong Process

Imagine how shocking it must be for a young woman, nosing through some family papers in search of her birth certificate, to find out that she was adopted.

That’s how Erika found out, and she kept that knowledge secret from everyone – even her own mother – for years.

“I didn’t know how to ask my Mom, so I didn’t.  I just dismissed it,”
Erika says.

Later, when the questions about her origins began to nag at her, she decided to act.

Since the papers showed that Catholic Charities had arranged for the adoption, she decided she would start there.  It was the right place.

The issue was uncertainty

“We believe that adoption is a lifelong process,” Peg Gehring, Licensed Social Worker for Catholic Charities, said, “so we’re used to providing lifelong services to all members involved in the journey of adoption – adoptee, birth parents, adoptive parents.

“We’ll provide whatever assistance is needed for people to deal with whatever unresolved issues they might be facing at any point of their lives.”

With Erika, it was the uncertainty that was thrust upon her with the realization she had been adopted.

“When I went in, they were very nice.  They helped me deal with my emotions, and they helped me reconnect with my birth mother in a way that was not upsetting to her,” Erika said.

Family Connections a resource

A wife and mother with two children of her own, Erika described her present relationship with her birth mother as one of friendship.

“I call my adoptive mother ‘Mom’.  She’ll always be my mother – that will never change.

“I call my birth mother by her first name.  Over time we’ve gotten close, which is wonderful.  But it doesn’t change that it was my Mom who was there for me while I was growing up – teaching me, wiping my nose, cleaning my skinned knees.”

Individuals whose adoptions were handled by Catholic Charities and who would like to reconnect with their birth families are encouraged to contact Peg Gehring at Catholic Charities Family Connections, at 419-244-6711.